You want the truth... here it is

A lot of people may not like this, but it's really time I got this off my chest...

First, I just want to take the time to say a very big thank you to those who have been so supportive & have kept me going during my competition training. It is NOT easy! Training is mentally & physically exhausting; especially working full time, try to do freelance work if I have any & trying to keep a social life. I try to keep in contact as much as I can & I’m sorry I don’t get to hangout much. I think this is one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but it makes me happy. I can go to the gym so tired & soar; I leave feeling like a champ! Because I know I'm doing something good for my body & trying my best to keep myself healthy.

With that said, what has made it even harder are a few I considered to be close to me that have not been so supportive. I always try to support others decisions as much as I can (even if I don't fully agree), it's just sad I can't get the same respect in return. I can no longer concentrate on it because it's really distracting me towards my goal. I've fucked up most of my training (That I started back in September) because of it! But I'm the one to blame for that because I should have just gotten over it months ago, but it kept sticking with me. Time to let it go.

I’m not trying to sound selfish, but I'm doing this for ME. This is something I have dreamed of for the past two years, that I never thought was possible till I finally decided to step out of my comfort zone & just do it! I don’t expect anyone to understand or full accept what I’m doing. I just don’t need the negativity. I constantly do things to challenge myself, it's how I've always been.

I've never quit anything in my life & I don’t plan on starting now.

Thank you

It's Baking Season

Usually I start to do a lot of baking and cooking experiments during Fall/Winter. But with my training I've had very little time to do so. Sunday's is my only full day in the kitchen when I'm food prepping for the week.

Yes... I have a slight pumpkin addiction. & don't say "eww" to the Vegan Pumpkin Mac & Cheese till you try it! Or if you don't like pumpkin, then I understand. 

But I found this recipe & had to try it right away!

Gluten-Free, Vegan Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cupcakes with Cinnamon Glaze

Recipe adapted from Fitsugar.com

Makes 12 Cupcakes

Ingredients

For cupcakes:

1/3 cup oil

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup nondairy milk (soy, almond, or rice) *I used Unsweetened Original Almond Breeze

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups Bob's Red Mill Gluten-Free All Purpose Baking Flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

1 cup canned pumpkin

1/2 cup chocolate chips *I used Enjoy Life Mini Chocolate Chips (dairy, nut & soy free)

For glaze:

1/4 cup brown rice syrup or honey *I used honey

1 tablespoon margarine or coconut oil, melted *I used Earth Balance Vegan butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Pinch ground cinnamon (optional)

Directions

To make cupcakes: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line muffin tin with cupcake liners.

Whisk together oil, sugar, nondairy milk, and vanilla. Sift in flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Gently whisk flour mixture until well combined. Fold in pumpkin, but do not overstir or the batter will become gummy. Fold in chocolate chips.

Fill liners two-thirds full. Bake for 24-26 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack to let cool completely.

To make icing: Whisk together honey, margarine, vanilla extract, and cinnamon in a small bowl. Using a fork, drizzle icing atop completely cooled cupcakes.

There they are in all their glory! They came out so good! My PIC even liked them, "I was expecting them to taste like cardboard!"

The only thing I would do different is since I used mini chocolate chips, use 1/3 cup next time. These kind of chips are actually pretty sweet & it was a bit too much. Also... no matter how cute the cupcake liner is  NEVER USE DOLLAR STORE CUPCAKE LINERS! I got all excited because they had candy corn on them... had to have them! Bad idea. Had to cut the cupcake out of the liners to eat them.

Hope everyone has a great night!

Wedding Bells

Since I have a bit of down time before my friends Halloween party I figured I'd do a little catch up!

Last week was absolutely insane. My workout schedule was way off (missed three days of cardio / doubled up back & shoulder days), eating was on course until friday & saturday night. It was all for a good reason though... Celebration time!

My best friend / P.I.C. got married! I still can't believe it came & went already. The Bride looked absolutely gorgeous, the weather was perfect & the ceremony/reception were so beautiful. Also, two years of stressing about doing her make up... I did a damn good job. Sho & Mike are the most amazing people & I was so honored to be apart of their special day.

Now with that said, time to get back on track with training, get my home put back together (looks like a storm blew through) & relax! I was a bit on edge this week because I was so disappointed in missing workouts & giving into "temptations." I have fantastic self control, but one minor slip up it's real hard for me to stop. Luckily, I talked with my trainer Whitney & also the always supporting "family". I really didn't think I could lift myself out of this one. I'm thankful for the support I have from them. Things get tough, but don't doubt yourself. Take a breath, refocus & get moving!

Happy to say I was at the gym by seven this morning; shoulders, legs, cardio & tomorrow I'll have off. So next week it's back to the grind hardcore! I got to do this!

Checking In

I didn't forget about you! Just been trying to adjust to this new schedule. It's slightly kicking my ass since I'm a night owl, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. Almost one week down of this plan & wonder what the next will look like. Hoping I get more food options.

My supplements finally arrived Tuesday so I started taking them a day later as directed with my plan. I'm not suppose to have a "cheat" the first two weeks on this pretty strict meal plan but the other night I was ravenous so i had some extra almonds & a serving of brown rice. Water was not helping my rumbling belly. But otherwise I have been following it to a "T". I can be very disciplined when I want & you need a lot if you are doing this.

Wooo! Presents! Thank you bodybuilding.com!

One thing I have noticed though is I'm starting to go through the "roller coaster" as I've read about from some articles. This is a tough lifestyle change & you have to be willing & mentally ready to do it. I've already thought about giving up because I hate feeling the high/lows. I just like the highs! I'm a happy person. But I wont give up. I know I'm strong enough to do it whether its just me that believes or only two other people. I got this!

Tomorrow I will go more in depth about the above. Right now I need to hit the sack, 6AM cardio comes early!

Night everyone!

This was my delicious dinner. I love steak night! & I must admit
I'm pretty badass at grilling ;)

Big Anouncment

Randomly throwing it into a post a few day's ago I figured I would take the time to officially say that as of October 1st, I will begin my six month training program with AZ Pro Physiques to prepare for my first NPC show this Spring! Yes, I'm finally doing it after talking about it for a year.

Fitness & sports have held a huge spot in my heart for years. I'm a flat out tom boy who can't sit still. Working out, whether its weight training or cardio makes me happy. It's my release. I leave the gym & I'm in the best mood the rest of the night. I'm sure people think I'm crazy for how much I work out, but I love it & I'm not going to give up or be a slacker to something I love.

When I started eating clean & got in real good shape last November I came across a lot of competitors that became my fitspiration. Woman like Erin Stern, Jamie Eason, Kim Dolan Leto, Felicia Romero, Melissa Hall Larsen. These woman are so strong, healthy & had such inspiring stories on why they started competing. Soon after I started to get the itch & dreamed of hitting the stage one day. I figured why not give it a try.

Then I started dragging my feet for six months... & got a little out of shape.

But the thought never left my mind. After getting in contact with an NPC competitor & the support from a few close friends I decided to just go for it already! Make my dream a reality! Next day I contacted AZ Pro Physiques & signed up for their online training program. NJ is very limited on professional coaches for competition & If I wanted to do this right, I need to work with the best. After signing up I knew right then, there will be no turning back from this point. I'm going to do this!

I want to thank all my friends & family that have shown me such positive support & love; Tea, Kelly, Sho Sho, Brosephie, Mr. Leone, Miss Jen, Dad, Grandma & Grandpa T. Thank you so much for believing in me! I'm going to need all the positive reinforcement I can get, because from what I hear the road to competing can get rough & lonely. & I'm happy to know I have such amazing support along the way.

Competing is a huge commitment (especially financially) & is going to take a lot of time & discipline on my part. But no one can do this for me, I'm doing this myself & for me. GO BIG OR GO HOME!

Body Composition! These are my starting stats that I had done Tuesday night to send to my trainer :) Parker said my BMR is awesome for how small i am. ‘You're like a humming bird!’ & 68lb of muscle! My morning weight is 113lb. But I'll go with the 118lb

I'm excited to start this journey & so happy to share it with all of you!


Current track: No Doubt- It's My Life